My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
