I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
