Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
