she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
