I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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