so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
