I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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