we're blogging at a bar
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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