wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
