i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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