need another drink. this is the easiest way
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
