my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
