Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
