There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
