Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
