Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
