This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
