I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
