Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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