The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
