when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
