yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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