we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
