He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
