The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
