I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
being pregnant is like rehab
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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