I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
