I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
