She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Dignity is for republicans.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
