I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
