She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
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