did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
