8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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