You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
