i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
