today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
