Welp...herpes.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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