Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I can't turn off my feet"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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