Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
