you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
