Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
