she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You left your underwear on the fireplace
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
