were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
