dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
