maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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