If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
