I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
