Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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