so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
