these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
