His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
